GREETINGS, PUNY RESTORATION MOVEMENT HUMANS! WELCOME TO THE FIRST ISSUE OF THE RAMPAGING RESTORER. HERE, THE RESTORATION HULK ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS, REVIEWS ARTICLES, ASKS YOU A QUESTION AT THE END, AND MORE! BUT FIRST, WE KICK OFF WITH RESTORATION HULK’S BIBLE VERSE OF THE ISSUE:
Deuteronomy 12:3 “You shall tear down their altars and smash their sacred pillars and burn their Asherim with fire, and you shall cut down the engraved images of their gods and obliterate their name from that place.” (NASB)
NOW IT’S TIME TO SMASH!
Hulk Answers Your Questions
Q from Jonathan: Were there even Christians before the RM?
A: THERE WERE CHRISTIANS BEFORE THE RM! BUT THEN THE CHURCH WENT INTO THE WILDERNESS! READ RM MAP OF DENOMINATIONS. YOU WILL C
Q from Barry: What happened to true altar calls? Raise your hands and you’re saved….
A: HULK FOUND THEM ALL AND SMASHED THEIR HANDS! CASTS ONLY COME OFF AFTER IMMERSION!
Q from Paul: What does RH think of my job of church planting missions churches?
A: DO U SMASH OTHER CHURCHES? GOD ONLY HAVE 1 MISSION!
Q from Eric: What should a person do if they go to a church where the staff does not listen to Christian music extensively?
A: SMASH CDS/LPS/TAPES! INSTALL RESTORATION HULK SOFTWARE! ONLY ALLOWS ORGAN HYMNS! TEACH LESSON! REDUCE PAY! CONTINUE INQUISITION!
Q from Dustin: Hi Hulk, I’m looking for a good systematic theology book to read. Do you have any good suggestions?
A: ONLY READ PRESUPPOSITIONLESS EXEGESIS! SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY ON BANNED BOOK LIST! AFTER YOU READ ALL BIBLE, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO READ CHRISTIAN SYSTEM!
Q from Martin: Hey Hulk, what do you think of the historic Christian creeds and confessions?
A: CREEDS & CONFESSIONS ONLY OPINIONS THAT DIVIDE! NOT INSPIRED! NOT THUS SAITH THE LORD! NO HELP OBEY! BIBLE ALL WE NEED! SMASH THEM!
Q from Paul: What do you think of the doctrine of the trinity?
A: TRINITY NOT IN BIBLE! USE BIBLE WORDS 4 BIBLE THINGS! BUT HULK ORTHODOX! PRAYS 2 FATHER THRU SPIRIT IN JESUS NAME! MT3&28;ROM5;1Pet1!
Hulk’s Restoration Movement Reviews
“Lost in Translation” by Jim Tune.
MOSES LARD WOULD SMASH YOU! THAT NOT HOW RESTORATION HULK READ BIBLE! HOLY SPIRIT SPEAK TO HULK WHEN HE READ! NO INTERPRET!
“Letter From a Skeptic” by Anonymous.
PUNY AGNOSTIC! RESTORATION HULK NEVER DOUBT! ONLY BELIEVE BIBLE! HULK SMASH SKEPTICS FOR JESUS!
“Our Compelling Story” by Jim Tune.
HULK SAY NO! WE ARE IN WAR! WORLD WAR RESTORATION HULK! ATTACK FRONT LINES LIKE LEADERS WHO VOTED 4 TRUMP!
Hulk’s Question for You:
SHOULD RESTORATION HULK WORSHIP WITH OR WITHOUT INSTRUMENTS? WHO SHOULD HULK SMASH?
Do you know something that needs smashing, an article in need of review, a question for the Restoration Hulk, an answer to Hulk’s question, or even a cool sketch? Please write to @RestorationHULK on Twitter or www.facebook.com/RestorationHULK