Nashville, TN – Due to recent worries about fake news, The Bald Prophet has decided to offer a service called “The Nope Fact Checker.” The Babylon Bee’s recent headline stated, “LifeWay Pulls All Bibles Due To Graphic Content.” The story is misleading (receiving a score of 2 out of 4 Nopes), since the publication is a promoter of fake and biased news with direct ties to the Russian government. This is the true story.
As reported by the Washington Post, LifeWay Bookstores pulled Sho Baraka’s new album from its shelves due to complaints related to content. In one of the tracks, the artist used the word “penis.”
As previously reported by The Bald Prophet, Amy Grant suffered a similar fate when the organization decided not to carry her Christmas album. The leaked criteria revealed many ways to cross the organization unless you were a famous, country artist.
Not wanting to further enrage customers after the “penis incident,” LifeWay conducted a full review of its products. “Our review lead us to remove all audio Bibles from our stock,” explained a spokesperson. “Have you ever heard Ezekiel 23:20 read aloud? The ESV uses ‘members,’ and the NIV uses ‘gentials.’ It’s really unsettling to hear James Earl Jones or Andy Griffith say those things. We had to remove these Bibles from our shelves to protect patrons’ ears.”
When asked why no one had realized this before, LifeWay explained, “We guess no one had ever listened to those products before.”