Little Rock, AR – Marty Bush celebrated the success of his first sermon as minister of Green Hills Christian Church.  “Could you believe how many people were in the sanctuary?” said Marty.  “People were very attentive, smiling, and interactive.”

All was well until Gladys, the church librarian, posted pictures on her Facebook page from the previous minister’s first sermon, and various church members shared them.  Gladys said, “I noticed there were more people at Pastor Bill’s first sermon, so I shared it.  I was on the minister search team, and I liked the other candidate better.”

In an effort to legitimize his ministry, Marty has appealed to the new lighting that was installed in the sanctuary a few years ago.  “All the brighter lights make it look like less people,” explained Marty.  “It’s simply an illusion.”

“All he has left is his light theory,” said Gladys.  “I have the attendance numbers.  He’s still looking for alternative attendance numbers, but he won’t find them.”

Now Gladys has expanded her subversive influence by joining Twitter.  You can follow the discussion by searching the hashtag #alternativeattendancenumbers.


Photo Credit: nomad7674 Flickr via Compfight cc

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2 thoughts on “New Preacher Says Old Preacher Had Fewer People at First Sermon

  1. I also heard that Gladys became very upset over the whole situation and has been using the hashtag #notmypastor too. And that the pastor responded by issuing a pastoral letter outlining who would be welcome to attend church from now on.

    Liked by 2 people

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