Vatican City – During recent digitizing efforts at the Vatican Apostolic Library, archivists have discovered a previously unknown manuscript that reveals exceptions Jesus gave to his prayer for Christian unity in John 17. The following is a rough translation provided to The Bald Prophet.
Peter: Did you really mean your disciples should be one like you and your Father are one?
Jesus: Yes, Peter.
Peter: But what about those who voted for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?
Jesus: Ok, except them.
Peter: What about Calvinists and Arminians? Young Earth Creationists and Theistic Evolutionists? Premillennials and Amillennials?
Peter: Republicans and Democrats? Supporters of Black Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter? Supporters and opponents of the Women’s March?
Jesus: No. I was only referring to my disciples that completely agree on all political and theological issues.