Vatican City – During recent digitizing efforts at the Vatican Apostolic Library, archivists have discovered a previously unknown manuscript that reveals exceptions Jesus gave to his prayer for Christian unity in John 17.  The following is a rough translation provided to The Bald Prophet.

Peter:  Did you really mean your disciples should be one like you and your Father are one?

 Jesus:  Yes, Peter.

 Peter:  But what about those who voted for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?  

Jesus: Ok, except them.

Peter:  What about Calvinists and Arminians? Young Earth Creationists and Theistic Evolutionists?  Premillennials and Amillennials?

 Jesus:  No.

Peter:  Republicans and Democrats?  Supporters of Black Lives Matter and Blue Lives Matter?  Supporters and opponents of the Women’s March?

Jesus:  No. I was only referring to my disciples that completely agree on all political and theological issues.


Photo Credit: DonkeyHotey Flickr via Compfight cc

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