Shelbyville, TN – It’s looking like it will be another bad year of family Christmases for families with students at Tennessee Christian College. “We’ve already heard complaints from the mayor and the police department about changes being made to nativity scenes across town,” said Robert Willis, Dean of Students. “Stables have disappeared. Three wise men have been either removed completely, reduced to two, or increased to four or five. We project awkward family Christmases again this year for those related to our students. When they start studying the New Testament for the first time they become overzealous like those cage-stage Calvinists.”
For the Wrights, last year’s family gathering was anything but peaceful. Gladys Wright, grandmother of Elijah, explained, “Last Christmas was rough. I simply asked Elijah how school was going and what he was learning, and the next thing I know I hear my wise men should not be there with the shepherds in my nativity scene. Then, he proceeded to throw one of the wise men away, because the idea of three wise men was just a man-made tradition, and he put the other two in the other room saying they couldn’t see the baby Jesus for a couple years.”
Sharon Hall’s parents recalled her return last year from Christmas break: “Sharon took my Willow Tree stable and tossed it in the fireplace,” said her mom. “She got out some paper mache and constructed this cave for baby Jesus. We heard from other parents that their daughter converted the stable wood into the upper room of a family home. That would have been nicer.”
Most families hope it will be better this Christmas. Sharon’s parents said, “Christmas was easier when the family got together and debated politics and who spent more money on the most thoughtful gift. Of course you have the rehash of past hurts and grudges too. These nativity critiques make us long for the old days.”
Unfortunately, their hopes may not materialize, because Sharon learned the star may have been a comet, so she has even grander plans for star modification involving “moving fire.” Its relationship to something she said about a dragon remains to be seen.