Springfield, MO – Due to the recent controversy surrounding Richard Swinburne’s presentation at the recent Midwest Society of Christian Philosophers Conference, trauma counselors will be available next year. Instead of Evangel University, the conference will be held at a safe space in Columbia, MO. A spokesperson said, “University of Missouri is a much safer place for our conference. The lack of traditional, historic Christian teaching at a university will be a less stressful environment for our philosophers. If Mizzou does not provide the ideal environment, we may hold it outside the region at Oberlin College or Yale, but definitely not at University of Chicago.”
To avoid any further distress, there will be trigger warnings before any paper that expresses a view based on historical, Christian ethics. In addition, all foods for snacks and meals will be carefully screened to insure no offense to other cultures created by any fusion cooking.
Members are excited about next year’s theme: “Let’s Reason Together.” “We are still making speaker selections,” said an officer of the society. “But, whoever we select, we are definitely not going to read their books before we invite them.”