Washington, DC — In a recent meeting held at the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C., Director Carla Hayden was stumped. She had just received a memo from an associate director with a request: “Ma’am, we are uncertain where to categorize this book.”
The book in question was the 2015 Directory of the Ministry: A Yearbook of Christian Churches and Churches of Christ. Upon initial consideration, it would have been filed under the Dewey Decimal classification of 286.6. 280 includes various religious denominations. But due to a recent protest at a football game from the sect’s PR group, “Restoration Herald,” the associate director thought it best to consult the Director as the Restoration Herald informed them in an open letter, “We are NOT a denomination.”
The Director plans to call the “Christian Churches and Churches of Christ” headquarters to inquire if a new Dewey Decimal class, “Non-denomination Denomination,” would suffice. Upon acceptance from the Non-denominational Denomination’s spokesperson, Rob Bussell, the new classification will be 1000.502.253.8000. The classification is convenient because the last 10-digits double as a phone number for the Non-denomination Denomination’s headquarters–a large church in Kentucky.
By Frank Sanders