Due to an E. coli outbreak in the leading shredded mozzarella cheese manufacturer in the country, US pizza places are unable to make pizzas. Youth ministers around the country are in complete panic over how to lead their ministries during the shortage.
“This was already creating a dire situation,” explained Tony Clark, Youth Minister at Faith Community Church in Scranton, PA. “What were we going to do to bring in the kids? How are we going to do ministry? To make matters even worse, PepsiCo has stopped making Mountain Dew. How are we going to keep the excitement level up?!”
In a horrible convergence, the FDA, following the lead of European countries, banned the use of Yellow dye #5 due adverse male side effects. With no Mountain Dew, some youth ministers are wondering what they will use to keep the male hormones at bay during co-ed small group discussions and swim outings.