While Star Wars fans and actors mourn the recent passing of RD-D2 pilot Kenny Baker, all production on Star Wars sequels has been placed on indefinite hiatus. This is because, in a bid to secure his job, Mr. Baker never committed R2-D2’s binary code language to a computer or Google Translator. One Walt Disney executive spoke to us about the current kerfuffle: “This is a disaster. No one else can work properly with our R2 droid to make the necessary *beep beep bloop* sounds. Baker and R2 had a very special working relationship.” One plan is to create a R2 Rosetta Stone by reverse translating every communication from R2 in the original movies through C3PO’s translations into English. The studio has also contacted George Lucas in the interest of creating “R2-D2 Special Editions,” deleting R2-D2 from all of the previous Star Wars movies.

When asked how he feels about the death of his partner, R2-D2 said, “I feel empty inside.”

By Justin Schwartz


Photo Credit: dirkvorderstrasse via Compfight cc


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