Ayrshire, UK – Following his visit to his Scottish golf resort and the Brexit vote, Donald Trump decided to lead the Scottish in a triumphal celebration against the EU. To prepare for the occasion, he donned a wig of long hair and a kilt, and painted his face blue.
When asked about his actions, he explained, “The Scots have always hated the French. They love the English.” He continued with a rousing speech that concluded, “They may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”
Trump was last seen marching through a field, yelling “Freedom,” and mooning people. No Scots were following him, but Eric Metaxas, James Dobson, and Jerry Falwell Jr. joined the march.