Nazareth, IL – Mt. Plain Church is seeking to hire a new senior minister after hiring and firing the previous ten within a two and a half year period. After bringing on so many preachers that didn’t meet their expectations, the church decided to form a minister search committee comprised of all thirty members so that they could find the preacher that fit all of their needs. “This time, we have learned from our mistakes and are prepared. We are only going to hire the perfect candidate. And to figure out who that is, we compiled the attributes of each of the thirty committee member’s expectations at our Cahill family reunion,” Chair of the committee Wayne Cahill told us.
In jest, Kay Cahill suggested that only Jesus could lead their church, but this was immediately shot down. Janette Cahill explained: “From our list, it was apparent that Jesus would not be a good fit for us. For instance, we want church growth without change, clear biblical teaching with plain application, and someone with lots of experience. But Jesus said things like ‘you have heard … but I say,’ crowds abandoned him, he didn’t use the New Testament, he taught in parables, and he only practiced ministry for three years. The only attribute that Jesus met for us was that he worked for free.”
Mt. Plain Church is urging applicants to inquire about the position, posting: “At Mt. Plain Church, we know that God will meet us where we are and send us the perfect senior minister. Come see if it is you with our renewable two week contracts.”