Richmond, VA — “Why lie, we need a guy” –goes the chant of protesters at Martha Washington Christian College (MWCC).
After months of escalating protests, MWCC has agreed to develop a degree program designed specifically for those students whose sole reason to attend college is to find a life-partner.
“All we wanted was recognition and equality,” says protest organizer, Eve Ning. “In this day and age, college needs to be more practical in the real world. And what is more practical than combining your social goals with your educational ones? It’s like, life!”
Chancellor Strangelove agreed. “This is really an exciting time to be alive,” Strangelove stated at a press conference Monday morning. “As teachers, administrators, and as a school, we are always waiting [and] looking for a shrill voice to cut through the crowd and lead us into a new cause! Eve has provided that for us in this much needed time.”
But not all students agree. Walking through the library, plenty of students were willing to speak out against the new degree program–students like Ima Learner, who thinks the cause is degrading. “I am here to study, and that’s it. It is so lame to objectify women as merely wolves on the prowl. We are just as smart and capable as men. If you just want to find a man, join a church softball league.”
Needless to say, the debate will rage on.
Classes will include:
Dating for Dummies
How to Get a Guy in 10 Days
Making the Most of the Prayer Room
By Caleb Payne