Washington, DC – With the recent loss of rock legend, Glenn Frey, the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) has issued an apology to the remaining Eagles for associating “Hotel California” with the Church of Satan. Despite long-time denials by the Eagles, evangelicals have proclaimed the song’s connection with Satan.
An excerpt from the NAE’s letter reads, “We should have renounced this perspective earlier while Mr. Frey was able to read it, but we still want to do this, because it is important. With Mr. Henley now playing God’s music, country, we know we were wrong all along.
This realization has opened up a completely new interpretation of their catalog. Clearly, ‘New Kid in Town’ and ‘Victim of Love’ are about Jesus. ‘Take it Easy’ is about Matthew 6:25-34. ‘Witchy Woman’ is about Jezebel. We are still trying to interpret ‘Tequila Sunrise’ through these new lenses.”
When asked for a response to the letter, Don Henley rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath.