Washington, DC — In response to Donald Trump’s oft-repeated promise to build a beautiful wall to keep Mexican migrants out of the USA, Jim Wallis and the Sojourners organization has formed a creative initiative. They are raising funds to purchase shovels to hand out in villages along the south side of the Rio Grande. Calling them “Beautiful love shovels,” the leftist group hopes to encourage tunneling under Trump’s promised forthcoming wall. “If El Chapo can build a state-of-the-art tunnel, why can’t people of good will, who only want to pick lettuce and pay social security in peace, have a chance at a better life,” Wallis quipped. Not to be outdone, a Jesuit-founded base community in Juarez has promised to supply each village with aluminum ladders built with local funds raised via microlending. The product, tentatively called “Ladder Day Saints,” is meant to accentuate a hierarchical approach to immigration reform. The Mormon Church has promised to sue for trademark infringement.
By Dennis Durst