Jonesborough NY, Northwest County — Jonesborough Community Church is drawing droves of Americans from surrounding counties and states, even Canadians from across the border. Some have labeled this phenomenon as the third great awakening. To investigate, we visited the church and spoke with members and pilgrims.

At the epicenter of this revival was an electrifying communion meditation by retired WWE wrestler “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, who was visiting the church as he was passing through on a promotional tour. “Hacksaw” was reclusive or busy with pilgrims as we sought an interview, but we found locals willing to share their testimony. Local farmer Rick Cone was in attendance and told us, “He began with the pledge of allegiance, brought up an American flag with him and kissed it, and went on from there to tell us how the USA has the greatest military and is the greatest nation in the world. At the end, he broke a 2×4 over his leg and everyone broke out ecstatically, singing the national anthem.”

Local artist Justina Byrd said, “Everyone stood and applauded after the communion meditation. We picked him up, lifted him over our heads, and paraded out the front doors of the church. I’d never seen anything like it. We had church that day!” Many agreed that that it was the greatest communion meditation they’d ever heard, saying in unison, “Praise be to God,” and then chanting “U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!”

“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan was immediately and unanimously promoted to the lead minister position by the elders and congregation.

Elder Bob Black told us why people have been coming in droves: “Thanks to the miracle of Pay-Per-View, people have been able to witness this miracle beyond the day it happened. Pilgrims have come seeking to take home a piece of the American flag that Jim kissed or the 2×4 he broke during his communion meditation. People have come far and wide to simply salute him and thank him for making American great again. Old school wrestling fans are also celebrating Jim’s big comeback.”

In a video of Hacksaw’s original communion meditation, distraught former minister Jordan Welch was left at the front of the church and could be heard muttering, over and over, “He didn’t mention Jesus, he didn’t mention Jesus…”

At the time of the publication of this article, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan is being sought after by many Christian conferences as a top billed speaker. It is being rumored that he will be accompanied by singer Michael Combs, known for his song “American Christian.” Many churches are seeking to incorporate Jim’s methods to encourage church growth and fan the flame of revival.

By Justin Schwartz


 

Photo Credit: GabboT via Compfight cc

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